A conversation with Stephanie Andrews: neuroscience-trained health writer, human performance expert, and SAG-AFTRA stuntwoman.
There is a specific kind of tired that moms know and nobody fully explains. It’s not the kind that a good night’s sleep fixes. It’s the 10pm wired brain when you’re desperate to wind down. The 3am wake-up with a racing mind. The dragging through the morning after eight hours that felt like two. It has a name, and it has a cause, and Stephanie Andrews is the kind of person who actually understands both.
Stephanie is a neuroscience-trained health writer, a SAG-AFTRA stuntwoman, an ex-circus performer, and a human performance specialist with 15 years in the field. She has worked with some of the biggest names in health and wellness, she backs everything with research, and she does not do fluff. We sat down with her for Mother’s Day to talk about what’s really happening in the exhausted mom’s body, and what to actually do about it.
Q01 — The Wired-at-Night Problem
It’s 10pm. The kids are finally asleep. A mom is lying in bed completely wired, and she knows she needs to sleep but she can’t. What can she actually do at that moment?
So, first, I understand the desire to want to stay in bed. But if you can’t fall asleep within the first 20 minutes, staying there is actually one of the worst things you can do. Your brain and your body start to associate the bed with the struggle of sleeping. So you want to get up.
And that isn’t an invitation to go play on your phone, watch another episode, or do the chores that haven’t gotten done. That is still your time to continue your wind-down. Lights dim, no phone, anything with screen light is going to suppress melatonin, and honestly, I would just sit in the dark. If you already have a meditation app you use, great. But a deep breathing practice is really powerful here.
Stanford research backs the cyclic sigh specifically: two inhales through the nose, then a long, slow exhale. They’ve shown it’s more effective at reducing anxiety than box breathing, and just five minutes can be really effective. That’s what’s going to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, the rest-and-d igest side, which is exactly what you need to ease into sleep.
Q02 — The Nervous System, Explained
Can you explain what the parasympathetic nervous system actually is? I think a lot of people hear that term and aren’t sure what it means.
The autonomic nervous system has two branches. You’ve got the sympathetic, that’s the fight-or-flight response that kicks in when there’s a stressor or a perceived threat. And then the parasympathetic, that’s rest-and-digest. It’s what comes on once that threat is over and your body finally gets to relax.
And the thing is, a lot of us are stuck in that sympathetic state. Especially moms. So the goal at night is to actively shift the body back into parasympathetic dominance. If your sympathetic is activated, you’re going to feel wired. You’re not going to ease down into sleep. It’s going to be really hard to fall asleep. Breathwork is probably the most effective and easiest tool for making that shift.
“If you can’t fall asleep within the first 20 minutes, staying in bed is one of the worst things you can do. Your brain starts to associate the bed with the struggle of sleeping.”
Q03 — The Cortisol Conversation
Cortisol is supposed to peak in the morning and drop at night, but for a lot of moms that pattern seems completely flipped. What’s causing it and how do you actually fix it?
Cortisol gets a bad rap. It is critical. The natural rhythm is that it starts to increase around three or four in the morning, spikes when we wake up, which is exactly what we want, and then gradually decreases throughout the day, reaching its lowest point at night. And that lowest point is really important because it’s the signal that tells your body to produce melatonin.
The problem is when that rhythm gets thrown off. The most common pattern in chronically stressed people is blunted cortisol in the morning and then elevated cortisol at night. That looks like waking up between 1 and 4am, trouble falling back to sleep, feeling exhausted but mentally wired before bed, racing thoughts, that “wired but tired” feeling. And then that early morning cortisol spike around 3 or 4 that kind of kicks you awake again.
For moms specifically, research has shown that moms with two kids and a full-time job have 40% higher biomarkers for chronic stress compared to women without children. So this isn’t just a feeling. The body is genuinely under more strain.
Q04 — Fixing the Pattern
So what can they do about it?
There are a few things that genuinely help. Timing of caffeine is a big one. I know the first thing a sleep-deprived mom is reaching for is coffee, I’m a coffee drinker myself, and honestly, for regular coffee drinkers the research says the impact on cortisol overall is minimal. But what does matter is drinking it on an empty stomach, because that can spike cortisol and make things harder. Eat breakfast first, then have your coffee.
Cut caffeine off by 2pm. If you’re a slow metabolizer or you get jittery, maybe noon. Don’t skip meals, when you go long stretches without eating, blood sugar tanks and cortisol goes up. That’s the hangry feeling. Research actually shows that women who skip breakfast have higher afternoon cortisol than those who eat it. And on the other end, eating dinner earlier rather than later can support healthier evening cortisol levels.
Morning exercise helps reset circadian rhythms. And a diet rich in omega-3s, dietary fiber, and fermented foods, things like kimchi, sauerkraut, all support healthier cortisol levels too.
“Moms with two kids and a full-time job have 40% higher biomarkers for chronic stress compared to women without children. This isn’t just a feeling. The body is genuinely under more strain.”
Q05 — Sleep, Naps, and Recovery
Kids wake up in the night all the time and interrupt sleep. What do you think about napping, can moms actually recover that way?
If you have the option to nap, absolutely take it. Even just lying down and resting without falling asleep is better than nothing. Naps have been shown to be really valuable for problem-solving, for memory, because you’re giving your brain a moment to rest. But if you can’t nap, the important thing is to be intentional about letting your brain go offline.
We’re constantly stimulated. Even standing in a grocery store line, how many times do you pick up your phone and start scrolling? Our brains are always on. And what we need is time for the default mode network to come online. That’s the part of your brain that’s your problem-solver. It connects the dots. It’s where that “aha” moment in the shower comes from, your brain finally getting space to think without being bombarded.
Even if you’re not resting, something like a walk, or sitting quietly, sometimes I just sit and stare at a wall. It sounds crazy, but it’s genuinely good for our brains to do nothing. And I don’t think we’re very good at doing nothing anymore.
Q06 — Timing and Consistency
Does it matter more how many hours you sleep, or when you sleep?
Consistency might matter more than duration. A lot of people get eight hours and wake up exhausted, and a big reason is they don’t have a consistent sleep-wake schedule. Your body is smart. When you go to bed at the same time consistently, your body starts to know, roughly an hour and a half before, that it’s time to produce melatonin. It’s conditioning. But if you’re going to bed at different hours every night, your body doesn’t know when to start the wind-down process.
I highly recommend keeping that schedule even on weekends, and look, I know that’s hard. I’ll be honest, it’s hard to practice what I preach. But even staying within an hour makes a difference. And I don’t want people getting panicky about a bad night. If your kid kept you up, it’s not the end of the world. Focus on what you can control.
“I sometimes just sit and stare at a wall. It sounds crazy, but it’s genuinely good for our brains to do nothing, and I don’t think we’re very good at doing nothing anymore.”
Q07 — What Regulation Actually Means
“Nervous system regulation” is everywhere right now. What does it actually do, and what’s the difference between something that genuinely works versus something that just feels good in the moment?
I know it’s a buzzword. But real regulation is anything that pulls your brain out of threat mode and brings the parts responsible for decision-making and memory back online. And a big marker of that is heart rate variability, HRV. That’s the variation between heartbeats. A higher HRV generally means your nervous system is recovered and adaptable. A lower HRV can signal that your body’s under strain from sleep deprivation, stress, illness.
What I find really useful about HRV is that it’s like a translator for what your nervous system is trying to say, things you might not notice consciously. If you’ve been stressed every day for a long time, your baseline for stress is higher. You think you’re okay. And your nervous system is going, “Hey, actually, can we please take a moment?” A wearable can help you see that. But, and this is important, if checking your metrics is going to stress you out more, don’t do it. There are ways of just listening to your body.
As for what genuinely works versus what just feels good: the cyclic sigh is real regulation. Two inhales through the nose, one long slow exhale, aiming for about four to six breaths per minute. You can do it anywhere, your kid is having a meltdown in the grocery store, you can do this right there. You don’t need an app. You don’t need to carve out time. That’s the difference. Something that actually shifts your physiology versus something that just gives you a moment of distraction.
Q08 — The Me-Time Question
What about things like watching TV to unwind at night, moms often feel like that’s their only “me time.” Is that actually regulating?
Watching Netflix sounds way more exciting than sitting down to meditate, I totally get it. And I think there needs to be balance. You don’t have to choose between all-or-nothing. The kids are asleep, you want to watch one episode, fine. But you can do that on your Grooni PEMF mat with blue light blocking glasses on. You can take your magnesium. You can still build in the things that are actually supporting your nervous system while you have your wind-down time. It doesn’t have to be either-or.
A warm bath about 60 to 90 minutes before bed is actually one of my favorites, your body heats up so much that it rushes to cool itself back down, and that cooling effect triggers your body’s sleep signals. So even if you want that Netflix episode, there are ways to stack recovery around it without adding more to your plate.
Q09 — The Real Recovery Stack
Walk us through your actual recovery stack, not the ideal version, the real one. What are you doing day to day?
I’ll be honest, I recently moved and a lot of my tools didn’t make the trip, which I’m still mourning a little. Before the move, I was using an infrared sauna blanket in the evenings after training. I do CrossFit five days a week, so my recovery has to keep up with what I’m putting my body through. Research actually shows that exercise followed immediately by some kind of heat session improves both cardiovascular fitness and recovery, I started doing that and noticed a real difference.
I also had a temperature-regulating mattress system that I’m determined to get again once I’m more settled. Sleep is, I’ll say it plainly, the hill I will die on. We spend a third of our lives sleeping. It underpins everything: how you eat, how you move, how you show up. So any tool that protects sleep quality is worth it to me. Right now, I’ve been using the Grooni PEMF mat, the 4-in-1 with infrared heat and red light. And honestly, it’s been filling in really beautifully for my sauna blanket. The infrared is great for recovery and healing, the red light I love, and I use it very intentionally to wind down at the end of the day. My recovery metrics have looked really good. I’m noticing faster recovery after training, deeper sleep. It’s become a real part of my evening routine.
Q10 — The PEMF Mat Origin Story
You actually bought a PEMF mat for your mom before you got a Grooni mat, right?
Yes, a couple of years ago, because of her arthritis. I was concerned about inflammation and I just thought, this is an easy thing. She’s already sitting and watching TV in the evening. Why not have something on her seat that’s doing the work for her? That’s what I love about it. It doesn’t stop you from doing the things you need to do. Moms are super busy, they don’t have 30 minutes to lie down and do nothing. But they are already sitting. So let’s make that time count.
Q11 — On Grounding
What are your thoughts on grounding? You mentioned it, can you talk about that?
I’m a big proponent. Getting outside in the morning for direct sunlight, everybody in this space talks about it and there’s a real reason. It resets your circadian rhythm. What you do during the day sets you up for your sleep at night. And if you’re lucky enough to have green space, grass, sand, putting your bare feet on the ground is genuinely healing. The electromagnetic frequencies the earth gives off, the research on that is growing. It’s calming, it’s restorative. Our bodies are energetic beings too. It’s not woo-woo.
They’ve actually shown grounding helps with jet lag, one of the first things they recommend when you land, especially eastbound, is go spend 15 or 20 minutes barefoot outside. It helps reset things. I notice a calmer energy throughout the day when I do it. I notice better sleep.
But not everyone has access to green space, I live in a city. And that’s exactly where a PEMF mat becomes really valuable. It’s bringing that same principle indoors. For a mom who’s already on the couch in the evening and going to scroll her phone anyway, let’s be real, at least the tool underneath her is working.
Q12 — The Zero-Budget Protocol
For a mom with zero budget and no devices, what’s the real protocol?
Morning sunlight. Bare feet outside if you can. The cyclic sigh. Eating breakfast before coffee. A consistent sleep-wake schedule. Don’t skip meals. Movement, and it doesn’t have to be a gym. A walk. Squats during a commercial break. These aren’t sexy recommendations. But if you look at the places in the world where people live the longest, it really is just the simplest things. The things we don’t do because we feel like we don’t have time. That’s where the biggest return is.
Q13 — The One Investment
And if she could invest in one thing, something that works while she’s already resting, not adding more to her day, what gives her the highest return?
A PEMF mat, genuinely. The beauty of it is that it requires nothing extra from you. You’re already there. It’s working on recovery, inflammation, sleep quality, things you might not feel or see in real time, but you’ll start to notice. With PEMF, you’re not going to see the frequencies. But you’re going to start noticing the results. For me it was faster recovery, deeper sleep, waking up ready to go. For a mom who’s already running on less than she needs, I think that’s a really meaningful return.
“Sleep is the hill I will die on. We spend a third of our lives sleeping. It underpins everything, how you eat, how you move, how you show up.”
Q14 — The Takeaway
Last question, what’s the one thing you want every mom reading this to take away?
Just stay curious. Not every tip or trick is going to work for every person, your hormones, your environment, your lifestyle, your bioavailability all factor in. What I can tell you is that your health is not a race and there’s no finish line. I treat it as an ongoing experiment. You test things, you notice what shifts, you keep what works and leave the rest. And you go easy on yourself when it’s hard. Because it is hard. Especially when you’re a mom.